If you’ve watched the new Blood Sisters on Netflix, you couldn’t have missed that unhinged scene where a paralysed Femi (Gabriel Afolayan) arranges for another man to satisfy his wife, Yinka (Kehinde Bankole), as he watches. While some saw the brazen display of cuckolding as an act of love and sacrifice, others found it disturbing.
Curious about how Nigerians actually feel, we asked people to share their experiences, fantasies and opinions on cuckolding. Here’s what they had to say.
“Watching my babe with other men turns me on” — Seun, 31
“I’ve always had this thing where I imagine what I look like from the outside when I’m with someone I’m attracted to. I think that’s where it started. Whenever my babe and I go clubbing, I genuinely enjoy watching other guys dance with her. Seeing her confidence, the way she moves and how much attention she gets does something for me.
The funny thing is that I don’t really focus on the other guy. In my head, I almost project myself into the situation. It’s more about watching her than watching him. I’ve only ever explored this dynamic with my current partner because there’s a level of trust between us. We’ve been together for years, and it’s one of those things that adds excitement to our relationship.”
“It’s on my bucket list, but only with my husband” — Chioma, 27
“I won’t lie, it’s one of those adventurous things I’ve always been curious about. The idea fascinates me, but it’s not something I’d ever consider with a random boyfriend. For me, there has to be a ridiculous amount of trust and security before I even think about something like that.
I’ve always been attracted to unconventional people, so I imagine whoever I eventually marry will be open-minded enough to have conversations about things like this. Until then, it remains a fantasy more than anything else. I can imagine it, joke about it and discuss it, but actually doing it with someone who could disappear from my life next month makes absolutely no sense to me.”
“I tried it once and still don’t know how I feel about it” — Hawwal, 34
“When I was in university, I attended a very private house party where people were encouraged to come with their actual partners. It wasn’t some huge public thing. It was low-key, invitation-only, and built on trust among the people there.
I convinced my girlfriend at the time to come with me. Looking back, I think curiosity carried me more than anything else. In the moment, it felt exciting because everyone involved seemed comfortable and there were no hard feelings. But after it was over, I couldn’t decide how I actually felt. I don’t regret the experience, but I’ve never repeated it. Outside of a very specific environment like that, I don’t think it’s something I’d be interested in exploring again.”
“It became one of our ways to keep things exciting” — Ada, 28
“My boyfriend is bisexual, and that was part of what initially attracted me to him. I’ve always found the idea of men being attracted to other men interesting, so it never felt strange to me.
Over the course of our relationship, there were moments when I watched him share that side of himself, and I found it exciting. Interestingly, it never turned into a group experience because that’s where I personally draw the line. For me, the appeal was always in observing rather than participating. These days, it happens far less often because our relationship has become more settled and grounded. We’re focused on building something serious now. Still, it remains one of those experiences that helped shape our relationship and brought us closer during its more adventurous phase.”
“For me, it’s about trust, not the other person” — Kemi, 32
“I think people assume the appeal is always about sex, but that’s not how I see it. What fascinates me is the level of trust involved. The idea that two people can be so secure in their relationship that they can be adventurous without everything falling apart is what interests me.
I’ve never actually done anything like that, and I don’t know if I ever will. But I don’t judge people who do. Relationships already come in so many forms. What works for one couple might be a complete disaster for another. Personally, I’m less interested in the act itself and more interested in the psychology behind why some couples are drawn to it.”
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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