A late period hits differently when you’re sexually active. It quickly becomes a crash-out that affects everything from your grades to your relationship plans for the next five years.
In this article, four Nigerian university students tell us how pregnancy scares affected their mental health and relationships with others.
1. “I couldn’t hear anything my lecturer was saying” – Lewato*, 21
The scare lasted eleven days. I was sitting in class and not retaining a single thing, and walking around campus with this weight on my chest that nobody could see.
I didn’t tell anyone. Not my roommate, not even my best friend. I just carried it alone because the moment you tell someone on this campus, it becomes hot gist. I’ve seen it happen before. You tell someone and by next week, everyone knows. The story will even have extra details.
So I just waited. I took three or four different tests within two weeks because I didn’t trust the first result. Each time, I’d lock myself in the toilet, hands shaking, trying to read the result fast before anyone knocked. The anxiety was physical. I was losing sleep, skipping meals, and convincing myself my body felt different.
When my period finally came, I sat on the bathroom floor and cried for a long time. Not just from relief, but exhaustion as well.
2. “My boyfriend’s first response was ‘are you sure it’s mine?’” – Debire*, 22
When I told my boyfriend I thought I was pregnant, he asked me if I was sure it was his. That question ended something in me. We had been together for eight months. I went to him scared and vulnerable, and that was the first thing that came out of his mouth.
I didn’t even have the energy to fight about it. The rest of that conversation was him talking about what we’d “have to do” if it turned out positive. I stayed quiet all through. He was making decisions without asking me anything about how I felt or what I wanted.
Thankfully, I wasn’t pregnant. But the scare showed me exactly who I was dealing with. I broke up him with three weeks later.
3. “Keeping The Baby Would Have Been My Only Option” – Dammy*, 23
When I got the scare, I wasn’t thinking about telling my parents or what my friends would say. I was already on my phone calculating antenatal costs and imagining what a semester deferral would be like.
I’m currently in my final year. I’ve spent four years working towards something specific and the thought of it all pausing or disappearing because of a mistake was painful. I couldn’t sleep properly and I was very irritable. My group project partners probably even thought I hated them.
It eventually turned out fine. I was so glad about that because trying to comfortably afford a pregnancy would have been impossible for me at that time.
4. “I was anxious for a long time after the scare” – Mary*, 24
Everyone focuses on whether it’s a positive or negative result. They don’t dwell on what happens to you afterwards even when it’s a negative result. My brain was supposed to go back to normal after finding out I wasn’t pregnant, but I just couldn’t.
I was anxious for weeks, every new random symptom I discovered just made me spiral. If I felt even slightly nauseous, my mind would start thinking and connecting the dots. I was constantly wondering whether I was pregnant even though my period was regular. I couldn’t enjoy sexual activities for a while and I became withdrawn generally. I cried in the bathroom a lot.
I think I needed to talk to a counsellor or therapist, but the ones available on campus have a very long wait list. Also, I didn’t have faith in them understanding me without judgement. So I just managed my emotions alone until it got better.
Next Read: 4 Reasons Why Nigerian University Students Won’t Get Tested For STIs
